personal: i received more than i could ever give

i had a unique experience on sunday. it was a privilege, really, and moments from the day will be forever burned into my happy memory file - the file in my mind that i flip through when i am discouraged and feeling purposeless in my life.

a while i ago i decided that i needed to be generous with my photography gift/skills/talent (however one might call it). down the road when i have more experience and a studio space to make the most of i hope to teach, or at least share with those interested in taking better pictures or understanding how their camera works, the things i have learned as a photographer. and i would like to regularly carve out time and finances to use my photography for bringing awareness to social justice issues that i am passionate about (travel around to places and spend time taking street photography or meeting individuals whose stories i can document through photography in order to give a face to the issues we hear about and quickly forget). and at home, i want to regularly give to those going through a particularly difficult time or simply unable to afford professional photographs the opportunity to have some taken! this past sunday i began to walk out my decision, and had the honor of giving a family something they have never had: a family portrait.

from the moment this family walked through the door at dominion hill, our location for the photo shoot, there was joy abounding. it was like sunshine walked through the door with them, and shone increasingly brighter which each smile. while the ladies were touching up their hair and make-up i was able to spend some time getting to know the guys and what great young men they are... brilliant and full of life and hope! in the end we took two and half hours to get in as many shots as possible, trying out every idea everyone had! and, the best part: witnessing the kids see their mom in a dress for the first time. mom was radiating and this filled my heart (one of the things i love most in life is seeing a woman discover how beautiful she is!!). it is so true, that old saying you receive more than you give...

this day had been in the works for a few weeks and was only possible with the help of a few of my good friends: thank you gary and joy for generously letting us use dominion hill, providing good drinks and gingery treats, and for there being there, generously offering the warmth of your hearts! hannah, your cookies were delicious!!!! billy, thank you for covering the costs of having prints made. shelley, you are the best assistant ever!

when i am discouraged and feeling that my photography is not good enough or does not meet the standards i  have set for myself. or, moreover, when i feel that what i am doing is purposeless i am going to remember this day, and other moments of its kind. i am going to remember the look on a child's face and the exclamation in his voice when he saw his mom in a glamourous dress for the first time. i am going to remember the fun i had photographing a teenage girl in a dress that would have made cinderella's step-sisters jealous. and i going to remember the feeling i had when i was told that this family had never had a picture taken together before and that i was giving them a gift very precious to them. and i am going to remember that all of this happened because i am doing what i love to do: photograph people. i am so thankful for this day.

it will be hard to pick my favorite photos from this day; there are so many great ones of the family all together and them all the ones i shot of each person individually! and i wish i could share them with you but i have agreed to not post these images out of respect for the family, but i have some photos of my lovely assistant and super good friend shelley, and some photos of the sweet treats and decor from the day!!!

shelley: you're simply the best!

hannah: yum!

one of the most beautiful nativity sets i have seen.

personal: tradition of togetherness

christmas is RIGHT around the corner and i have been thinking about this holiday season a lot, particularly because it will be the very first time i ever been away from my family at christmas, and only the third christmas (ever!) that we are not all together as a family. in trying to decide how, where and with whom i will be spending christmas i find myself reflecting on the the way my family have spent christmases together in the past, realizing that we have tradition, something i always thought we lacked. we don't always decorate the christmas tree together on a specific day, play games, sing christmas carols, read polar express, or get and wear new pajamas, etc like some families always do.  and we don't have any other culture or ethnic traditions that are apart of our christmas celebrations. but, what i have realized as i think about spending this christmas so far away from my family is that our tradition has always been 'togetherness.' 

beginning christmas eve, my brothers and i would gather at our parent's home, bringing with us gifts, baking, favorite christmas movies, boisterous laughter and enough clothes to last a few days in case we were not in any hurry to get home (this last one was mostly me :). one or all of us my accompany mom to the midnight mass at her parish while others might be doing some last minute wrapping, christmas movie watching, or, as in recent years, my brother marshall and his wife would celebrate christmas with her family. come christmas morning we would all gather in the living room around the tree in our family home. each us of would gleefully unstock our stockings while waiting for everyone to be together. snuggled onto the couches or chairs were with us was our family cat and dog, annabelle and maggie; and as of last year marshall and kristina's puppy, gracie. one by one each of us would unwrap the gifts that we have each thoughtfully picked out for one another. gift time was followed by a scrumptious breakfast usually prepared by mom and dad, or me, or me and dad, depending on who was inspired that year. christmas afternoon was spend napping, or preparing the christmas meal, or watching a movie, or reading by the christmas tree... regardless of what our activity was, we were always, together.  

this year my parents are spending christmas in los angeles (they are enroute right now); they are taking full advantage of their first year as a retired couple and will be traveling around southwestern california! my brother and his wife will likely spend their christmas making the most of it as it is their last christmas just the two of them; their first baby is due in january. and i am sure my eldest brother will represent us at the extended family's christmas celebration this year.

i already miss my family and our tradition of simply being together. i find myself tearing up when i think of what i will be missing in vancouver this christmas. my mom and i will do no baking together. my mom sent me my stocking - the one my grandmother made for me when i was born - and she sent along some stocking stuffers for it, but it won't be the usual and she won't be the one filling it for me. and i won't have my dad walking around 'barking orders' to clean up the wrapping paper and put my gifts away. and my brothers and i won't be hanging out in the family room watching 'a christmas story' while munching on the chocolate chip cookies i only make at christmas... 

while i will greatly miss togetherness with my family and allow myself to be sad, i will embrace the new traditions i can create here in st. stephen and be glad to participate in the family traditions of my friends! i will be grateful for the way God has provided family for me this christmas season. i will enjoy the winter wonderland and festive decor that is plentiful in this little town. and i will look towards january when i will get to be together with my family and welcome a new little member to whom we will pass along the tradition of 'togetherness'.

here are a few shots of my snow-covered neighborhood i took earlier today!

my neighbors house decorated for christmas

my street

my backyard!