personal: i have a flare for the dramatic

i climbed the stairs, bottle of wine in tow, and greeted my friend gwen who was sitting at her computer compiling music sheets of the songs we have decided to sing together (a while back we decided that to form a little singing duo... something to entertain her crazy skills and my love of singing).  the plan was to begin practicing; we have never sang together before and she is usually the lead vocal so this is a new adventure for her in many regards. it became quickly evident that neither of us were quite in the 'mood.' both of our minds were scattered and i was feeling a little down.

my day began wonderfully. i woke up, took the puppy for a stroll, got ready for work where i chatted with customers and did some light merchandising while checking out the new stock. but as the day progressed i grew increasingly less... happy. i was quite melancholy in fact. my mind swirled with insecurities, what ifs and worst case scenarios: what if i am not as good as i think i am? what if i just mess things up? what if i fail? what if i succeed? why am i not going to law school anymore? am i crazy? why am i staying in new brunswick? what if the new boots i ordered don't fit? by the end of the work day, by the time i arrived home i was so not in the mood to sing. i wanted a glass of wine and to veg out.

within ten minutes of being at gwen's i was already ten percent better. we each poured a glass of wine, sat on the couch and just began chatting, which lead to looking at photos of her family - her three adorable boys, which lead to funny stories, which lead to conversations about the church, which lead to singing... but not quite the singing we had planned, no not at all.

gwen was in saint john earlier that day, perusing through a music shop looking for music sheets of jazz standards and ended up buying a book of show tunes. yup. show tunes! she bought it simply because it had the song "just you wait henry higgins" from my fair lady. well, needless to say i knew quite a few songs from the book's collection including, "part of your world" (little mermaid), "on my own" (les miserable), "my favorite things" (sound of music), and "think of me" (phantom of the opera). so, we sang. the first time singing together, and we sing show tunes.

now of course when you do something for the first time and others are witness to this there are confidence issues and insecurities and apologies for not being as good as you should be etc. but gwen, wonderful gwen, gave me a boost when she said, you have a flare for the dramatic, and that is a good things; it takes courage to be dramatic (she also said i am better than i think i am). of course, in the moment, she was referring to my singing ability but her comment is applicable to. my. life.

the emotional and mental roller-coaster i quite often experience, and the consistent questioning about my abilities and life choices (like i found myself doing today) is coupled with great courage to pursue things that are not so status-quo, the activities, relationships and goals that are closet to my heart. this flare for the dramatic is what enabled me to pack up my life in vancouver and move to the other side of the country to pursue a university degree when everyone else my age was getting married, having babies and buying houses; it is what attracted me to st. stephen's university, a tiny christian liberal arts university where everyone is family, and the university buildings can make one think she has entered the realm of the royal tenenbaums; it is was kept me going when i so badly wanted to give up writing my undergraduate thesis on a not so popular topic; and it is what makes me so desperate to succeed as a photographer! i will also attribute to this flare for the dramatic, a creative drive within me that loves beauty, making things beautiful and making others feel beautiful, which i hope will come across in my photography, whether it is capturing joy in the midst of a natural moment between a mother and her child, or a situated romantic moment between a couple on their wedding day!

so there. i have a flare for the dramatic. this is perhaps one of the nicest compliments i have ever received, and i am perhaps even more grateful to God for the wacky wool He chose when He knit me together!

personal: i was greeted with a hug.

this morning as i participated in a business seminar, i tried desperately not to pay attention to the rain falling outside on to the rooftops and streets of saint stephen. please God let the rain ease in time for my afternoon photo session in saint john! i spoke to my client at noon and we decided to go ahead, it seemed to be letting up in saint john. i hit the road at 2pm, anxious to get there in time to scout out the location she had chosen and see what creative options we had with the open, outdoor space. as i moved closer and closer to saint john, the fog grew denser and the rain fell harder. oh no. i arrived at the agreed upon location. beautiful. there are so many possibilities! i placed a makeshift plastic cover around my camera as the rain, which had eased slightly, lightly fell (i need to find and invest in a 'rain guard' for my camera!) and began to traipse about, only to quickly turn back as the rain began to pour again. i made the phone call i dread the most. we're going to have to cancel. it's pretty nasty out here - it won't be fun for you, and i am concerned about the equipment. thankfully my clients we gracious and willing to reschedule to next week, and this time we will have a back up plan!

en-route to saint john i had texted my good britney. i'm going to be in the area, can we meet up after my photo session? or something to that regard. she invited me to dinner at the l'arche home where she works and shares life with individuals living with developmental disabilities. hesitant at first to accept the offer i decided i could not turn down the opportunity to meet britney in her new home, and to be introduced to the people she has quickly come to love and know as family. when i arrived, britney (aka 'splenda' or 'kney' to various community members) was in the middle of making dinner, and making a cowboy belt buckle for stephane's halloween costume. abandoning her tasks she introduced me to debbie, who greeted me with a hug,  and christina who kept me company while brit moved in and out of the living room, attending to her duties as care giver. debbie introduced me to her dog Rickie, a well snuggled stuffed toy dog wearing a black and orange cape (his halloween costume).

after a short time we congregated around the dinner table. after thanking God for the food and the hands that had prepared the meal, we dug in. brit had made turkey pot pie out of the turkey leftovers from the previous night's celebratory dinner; it has been five years since debbie joined the community. during dinner we each took turns to recognize five "greats" of the day (aka five things to be thankful for)... my heart was filled when three of the community members mentioned my presence as a "great" in their day! after the meal we bowed our heads to pray as a community, to pray for those we love, are thinking of, or for the things we are thankful of today. while waiting for my turn i recognized the great honour and privilege it was to be invited to this table, one where change in routine and placement of things is not taken to very easily. and i thought about how the simple act of invitation, to dinner, to coffee, to dessert or tea, is an invitation to friendship. this was confirmed when debbie and stephane and the others made sure i knew that i was welcomed back, anytime.

my day started out late (i slept through my alarm), i drove through rain and fog to a photo shoot that i ended up having to postpone, and it was a long drive home wherein i had to pull over at one point to rest my tired eyes. but in the end it was a really good day, full of greats!. yes. although my day did not play out as planned, i will never forget my dinner in the home where i was greeted with a hug. 

personal: oh my goodness, oh my heart

i recently joined opensourcephoto, a forum for professional photographers to network via the web and sharing their highs, lows, successes, failures, creative ideas, passions, business tips, etc and etc. so of courses i have spent a little too much time checking things out, neglecting my household chores, letting the laundry pile up and the bed go unmade... but i am so glad i did! here's why.

a few weeks back i came across the name Jasmine Star on a fellow "newbie" photographer's facebook page. i didn't pay too much attention to this; there is so much information out there, and i have upheld a few other photographers as "gurus" to learn by. but in the past few days while perusing the opensourcephoto forums Jasmine's name kept being mentioned in post, after post, after post.  so tonight i decided i would look her up, see what the fuss was all about. i haven't even got to looking at her photos yet and i am already inspired by her. all i have done is read her "about" page on her website! turns out she left law school to pursue wedding photography!!!  now let me tell you why this is important to me.

four years ago i quit a good yet un-fulfilling job to move across the country in order to attend university full time in a small, unique (and slightly quirky) christian liberal arts university. i was twenty eight years old. i had no goal in mind other than to pursue something that i had always wanted to do, graduate university with a bachelor of arts degree. st. stephen's university was the perfect fit for me; its small classroom sizes, friendships with professors that went beyond the classroom, study abroad semesters and the "community bubble" made it easy for me to become immersed in academia. i learned to think critically, ask questions and be okay with the fact that not all questions have answers (or mostly okay). i had little to no knowledge of philosophy, history, art, literature, social justice when i began... the world was opened up to me and it has transformed me (i am pretty sure that ssu - the professors and my fellow students - saved me from a mundane/mediocre life). by the end of my second year i started to see beyond my ba degree, into law school. i was on track. i sought to increase my gpa, and gobbled up every philosophy and ethics class i could, and in my final year i wrote a thesis, allowing me to graduate with honors. the plan was to take a year off from school to study for the LSATs and prepare application for law schools, with the hopes of beginning school again in september 2011.

and now here i am, not six months after graduating and everything has changed. i followed my heart four years ago and lead me to ssu. i followed my heart last year and it lead to me staying in st. stephen nb where i have found chance and opportunity to pursue another "heart" passion; and it's something i am really good at (*sheepish smile*). so, when i read the "about" blurb on Jasmine's website it struck a cord deep within me. i am convinced again that i am on the right track... that i am following my heart. law school isn't going anywhere, nor are my reasons for wanting to study the law. but there is something else tugging at my heart strings right now, and something that isn't going to go away until it becomes a reality. Jasmine Star writes:

"i left law school... and have since filled the ache in my chest with happiness that percolates from my heart. i fell in love with Love. the joy and fulfillment i receive in documenting the most special moments on a wedding day compares to nothing else."

from someone who had similar pursuits prior to her career in photography, this means alot, ALOT! there is alot of information on this website; just one evening of reading a few threads of discussion and i have a brain full of ideas and important business planning considerations. but the references to Jasmine Star have been the most valuable utterances, thus far.

*this post may sound a little fluffy or mushy, but i think i have started out on the first few kilometers of a really awesome journey and i am really excited (is this what it feels like to align one's will with the will of GOD?)!! i think my 33rd year is going to be the best. year. yet! (it was my birthday last week ;)

marketing: new blog!

i have been searching around the internet, stalking and admiring the blog designs and functionality of other professional photographer's sites (sometimes drooling over them) in effort to customize a blog that fits my own style and personality as a photographer. i envisioned a blog that was fun, sophisticated yet casual, and where i could write my thoughts and share my photography. the blog that i have used until now was good but not great; it was simple but i was limited to featuring only one photo and had little control over the font style and color, and background. i like things to be aesthetically pleasing, clean, simple... i wanted a blog that would communicate my style as a photographer through every aspect not just the images i share. thus, after following link after link after link, and playing around with different options available to me i discovered a blog site that was right under my nose the entire time, and found it to offer all the design options i desired!!

i hope you enjoy the new look and have fun perusing the various pages! i have "imported" most of my previous blogposts, and even added new photos to some!!

please check back often for new posts! and please, PLEASE feel free to offer feed back on the new blog, look, functionality etc...

old government house family portrait session: dan + beth + ewan

last month i placed my first ad on kijiji in an effort to get my name and photographs "out there." i had some serious inquiries, one of which led to last week's family photo session with dan, beth and their little guy ewan. i met up with dan, beth and ewan at the old government house in fredericton last sunday... a beautiful sunny fall day that was PERFECT for photographing.

oh. my. goodness... smiles abound in the photos that came out of this session. the wide, take-up-one's-whole-face, gonna-cause-laugh-lines-and-wrinkles kind of smiles! these are the best kind of smiles because they only come out when one is laughing or really really happy. the kind of smiles that hurt when you try to suppress them. you see this kind of smile on beth when she plays patty-cake with ewan; you see this smile on dan's face when he has ewan giggling while perched on his shoulders; and you see it in ewan's face when he gets tickles form his dad, or smooshy kisses from his mom...

ewan was such a good sport, even when he was "forced" to wear a little newsboy cap. i love the smile that gobbles up his face when his mom and dad play peek-a-boo with him (apparently this his current fascination), and proud look that his face emits when he practices his newly acquired skill: walking! or the concentrated look as he examines his toy, which he swiped from his grandma's house one time (a toy his daddy played with when himself was a little boy).

here are a few photos from our photo session. i hope the genuine joy captured in these photos bring you some joy today!

to view more photos from my photo session with ewan and his parents please visit my facebook fan page.

ganong nature park family portrait session: the landry family

the friday before thanksgiving, shannon landry contacted me asking if i was available for a family photo session on such short notice. i excitedly responded yes! within an hour (or so) we had all the details worked out and she was delighted that her whole family (step-daughters et al) would be at our 10:30 am photo session on thanksgiving monday!

I had so much fun with the landrys. we roamed all over the Ganong Nature Park at Todd's Point taking advantage of the b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l natural beauty of the park, where fields and forest meet the ocean. the sun was shining in all his/her glory, posing some issues for lighting, however its rays were energizing!

i think the most enjoyable part of the whole photo session, other than micah's easy-to-come-by smiles and giggles, was the lengths shannon went to get her other son, john-luc, to smile. i believe by the end of our 90 minutes john-luc had a fish, a cat, and  copious amounts of ice cream and worms 'n dirt coming his way. you can tell i have no children when i find delightful the various ways parents get their kids to do what they want, and the great prizes kids end up with for being a little difficult!

shannon and family, spending my thanksgiving morning with you is amongst many things i have to be thankful this year!



to view the complete album, please visit my facebook fan page.

kingsbrae gardens family portrait session: the turner family

it is the end of the summer tourist season, thus Kingsbrae Gardens in Saint Andrews was happy to give us their space to wonder around while the Turner family was photographed. this was a beautiful setting for an autumn afternoon photo session, and the turner's were SUCH A FUN BUNCH to photograph!!! i so appreciated their willingness to try my crazy creative ideas and that they had many of their own creative ideas to contribute. our 90 minute photo session easily became 3 hours (definitely not the norm!) while we used almost every inch of the garden and sought to create many photographic memories.

you will notice as you peruse through the album, which is posted on my Facebook Fan Page that some of the photos seem kind of "awkward." this was quite intentional. i am not ashamed to admit that some of my inspiration was drawn from the very popular website awkwardfamilyphotos (you must check it out). the difference of course between my photos of the tuners and the photos found on awkwardfamilyphotos is that my photographs were entirely orchestrated this way! whereas the photos posted on this website are simply the product of unfortunate souls, bad photographers and (it would seem) the 1980's! i am so thrilled that the turners were on board with the awkward family idea... i think these should be on the turner's family christmas cards!!!

to view the album, visit my Facebook Fan Page!

st. andrews family portrait session: the bernard family

well, it only took three months since we first talked about doing some family photos, but we finally did it! we coordinated our schedules and i spent the morning of October 5 tuesday morning photographing my very good friends, hannah and will and their almost three year old, sophie -an adorable and full of life toddler!

when we were heading to the photo session location, hannah was commenting on sophie's love of running. she runs everywhere, all the time. at one point during the photo session when hannah and i were walking together, and will was running alongside sophie trying to keep up to her fast little legs, hannah pointed in soph's direction and said "cross country runner, right here." i believe that a person's interests and passions develop as early as childhood, and grow and blossom into life long passions when the people who share life with and love the child encourage those interests, nurturing them and gently guiding them along in life.

i came home from the photo session thinking about the movie "chariots of fire," based upon the life of eric liddel - a christiam missionary who delayed his missionary work in order to compete in the 1924 olympics. in the movie, liddel famously asserts: "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." i wonder if this is how sophie feels when she is running! she will grow up to discover the wonderful ways God made her and the purposes to which she is suited, but i think perhaps that she may already be in the know about some things, feeling God's pleasure as she runs and plays and cleans.... and i love that hannah and will encouraged sophie and gave her opportunity during our photo session to run!

to view more of Sophie and her parents, please visit my facebook fan page.

st. stephen engagement session: alex + sarah

sunday, october 3rd was a beautiful sunny fall day, the kind where the sky is blue, the sun is warm and a sweet breeze blows every once and while cooling the skin making me happy i wore a scarf. no, is was beautiful because i had the honor of photographing the recently engaged sarah and alex.

their story begins nearly two years ago when sarah began her first year at st. stephen's university and alex his second year; sarah, a beautiful vegetarian from manitoba, and alex this amazingly kind guy from ontario who wore absolutely crazy pants one might only find in a really badly made 80's film. by february, just before alex was to leave for a two month study abroad term with his class in south east asia, alex and sarah confessed their mutual affections. fast forward to this fall, just weeks before sarah is about to embark on her own south east asian study abroad adventure, alex pops the question and sarah accepted.

it was great fun and real privilege photographing them. their super fun, adventurous personalities coupled with their deep affection and respect for each other was the perfect combination for creating images that capture dynamics of their relationships. and, individuals and couples like sarah and alex are one of the reasons i love photographing people! their smiles are genuine. and the images where they are looking into each other's eyes or laughing while holding hands are so intimate that i felt at times that i was imposing on something very special... it is a gift to be able to capture these moments for people, and i am honored.

to view more of my photo session with alex and sarah, please visit my facebook fan page.

personal:: a note about my writing style!

something you should know about me: i cannot write anything these days without using an excessive amount of exclamation  marks!!! i feel that my excitement and happiness can not be communicated any other way!! and usually, one exclamation mark is not enough!!! there has to be multiple exclamation marks in order for to me to be satisfied that my enthusiasm has been received!!!!!!!

i think too, that the reason i use so many exclamation marks is because it is the only way i can be confident, when i write an email or some other web-communication to someone, that my intonation is received correctly. web communication can be the WORST sometimes!! i swear it is the reason for so many misunderstandings and break downs in the communication process and in relationships!!!!! when i write an email (or a blog post) i generally hear in my head a certain tone or emotion; for example, right now as i type this i hear a happy, expressive, positive, and exuberant voice!! but someone could read this completely different than i intended because they do not hear the voice inside my head! thus, i use exclamation marks (and more recently a semi-colon and bracket to create smiley face) in order to communicate the intonation of voice that i intended, thus avoiding misunderstandings!!! but of course, we all know that no matter how hard one tries, things happen and our emails, blogs or other forms of web-communication breaks down, and our efforts get lost in a nebulous pile of misunderstandings that we attempt to correct through yet another series of emails etc. the worst is, that being aware of this fact - that an email etc does very little good at communicating the author's intention, or at least mood when the email was written -  i am guilty for misreading the intended voice of the author, or for being hurt/insulted/mad!!! oi vey!

anyone identify with what i am talking about?

why am i writing this? oh, yes. because i recognize that a large part of my job as a photographer involves communication, much of which is done via the internet. therefore, i want people to know that i use an obscene amount of exclamation marks when communicating with people so that they know i am a happy, enthusiastic, positive, bubbly person!! i worked in an office for over eight years writing very formal, administrative memos, letters and emails, and i have spent the last four years writing academic papers, both in which correct use of punctuation is required and necessary, and intonation is not necessarily important... but in my "business" as a photographer i want to throw out the rules so that my heart is in every letter, word and punctuation mark because my heart in the photography that i do and is open to the people i will collaborate with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so, i use an obscene amount of exclamation marks.

i chose this photo of three year old Maddie because is perfectly illustrates my excitement for photography and  the process of giving families, couples and individuals beautiful images! yes, i get so excited that i twirl around (and sometimes i wear a princess dress!!!!)