So happy to have my friend, wedding industry colleague Sarah as a guest writer on my blog today. She is offering some encouragement for Brides and Grooms who are both just starting the planning process or are in the midst of too many opinions from others and losing sight of what is most important to them... And she is not just writing from a wedding planner's perspective; Sarah is a recent Bride herself and is offering wisdom learned from first-person experience!!
The stresses and pressures on the modern
engaged couple are actually a little crazy! People who haven’t gone through the process, or who have
taken a back seat to the process have no idea what happens to a person’s brain
who is put in charge of planning the perfect wedding. There IS such a thing as ‘wedding brain’. You unconsciously become obsessed with
a specific colour, a specific texture, a song or a style of chair, yes, a
chair! You say things like ‘I want
pretty chairs’ or ‘you’re all going to learn this dance routine by tomorrow’
without giving it a second thought…it’s a crazy time.
I hear it time and time again that ‘people
should just elope’. I also hear
people, who aren’t thinking about getting married anytime soon, say that they
will just have a small wedding with their closest family and friends. When it comes down to it though, and
you are put in charge of making that guest list, reality hits…it’s not that
simple. Anyone who has done it
knows that creating a limited guest list, for such a significant event is very
challenging. That small intimate
wedding you always thought you would have is rapidly replaced with a family
reunion of epic proportions… x 2.
There are so many opportunities to offend
those closest to you throughout the planning process – you don’t invite the
right people, you don’t invite their children, you don’t ask someone to be in
your wedding party, you don’t pick the right dresses, you don’t ask the right
people to say speeches, you don’t sit the right people in the right places, you
don’t thank people soon enough…etc , etc. As a wedding planner, I’m constantly asked about the
proper etiquette of certain situations, such as these noted above. My go-to answer, and the advice I truly
believe in, sounds something like, ‘well, proper etiquette is just good common
sense, so do what feels right to you’.
I’m a big believer in making your big day, YOUR. BIG. DAY. It should reflect the couple you are,
with the people you love. It
should be an extension and celebration of your personalities, quirks, talents
and passions. If you want to sing
yourself down the aisle, do it! If
you want to have a tiny ceremony in your backyard and a huge party at a local
park, sounds amazing! If you think
your dog deserves to be a part of your special day, give him/her a role.
There is something to be said for
tradition, however, and I wouldn’t be a very good wedding planner if I didn’t
have an appreciation and respect for wedding day traditions. Mixing your unique style with traditional
wedding elements ensures your guests that they are indeed at a wedding, and not
just some fancy get-together. The
traditional elements you embrace are just another way of showing what’s
important to you. If you don’t
feel a need to have a first dance, a garter or bouquet toss or a cake cutting,
that’s completely up to you. On
the other hand, perhaps you’ve been waiting your whole life to throw that
bouquet, but are afraid it’s too cliché, don’t be….it’s tradition and people
love it, so go ahead! Have your
father walk you down the aisle, have the cutest flower girls you can find, have
a receiving line. If it feels
right to you, make it part of your big day.
As weddings are much more flexible today
than they were twenty years ago, it may be difficult to keep everything in
check, because there are just so many options. Wedding blogs and websites like Pinterest bombard those
planning a wedding with ideas, inspiration and more ideas. The best way to control the madness is
to decide early on what are the important elements to you – do you need an
amazing photographer, is food extremely significant, is the location of the
upmost importance, or the gown, or the entertainment, or the decor? What elements really really excite
you? Figure these out…these are
the aspects you should be spending your time and money on. To keep your wedding budget within
reason, focus on the important details, and try to let the other stuff go. This will really shine through on your
wedding day. Your guests will be
inspired by your enthusiasm, and will feel so lucky to be sharing your day, and
the details you so meticulously chose, with you.
It wasn’t until my own wedding day, that I
understood the true reality of being a bride. In taking my own advice, we spent our time and money on the
ceremony, the photographer, the food and the entertainment, and it was
AMAZING. That’s really the best
advice I can give, figure out what it is that you both love, and share it with
your guests. That, and hire a wedding
planner, of course ;)
