personal: the defining power of love

i feel a little discouraged today... a little blue. i don't know if it's the drizzly weather (rain does not put a smile on my face the way fresh snow does) or if it's because christmas is fast approaching making my geographical distance from my family obvious on a daily basis (this year will be the first christmas i am spending away from my family, first ever!) causing these friday blues. it could be the waves of fear that wash over me as i think about what the next year is going to bring. will my personal and professional endeavors be successful? how much am i going to have to sacrifice? how much MORE am i going to have to sacrifice? is this really where i want to be? really want to be doing? what if...? what if...? what if?

if you follow me on facebook you would have read on my status update last night that i have been watching the movie 'the holiday' a lot lately! how much? let's just say that kate, jack, cameron and jude have been making daily appearances on my laptop screen (i do this with movies by the way! i have favorites movies or  'comfortable' movies playing in place of music quite often, and put them on repeat for days at a time... not sure why but i do!). anyway, the opening narrative, set to the beautiful melodies composed by hans zimmer, is one of my favorite parts; i am a sucker for reflections on 'love':

i've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. shakespeare said "journeys end in lovers meeting." what an extraordinary thought. personally, i have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but i am more than willing to believe shakespeare had. i suppose i think about love more than anyone really should. i am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives.

well said. love is transformative. for centuries men and women all over the world have held onto the wisdom that 'perfect love casts out fear'... 'there is no room in love for fear' (1 john 4:18 nkj/msg). and when i look down the mountain and over the hills and valleys of my own journey in life i see distinctly how love has shaped my life. how love has defined the way i feel about my self and my life. how love has overwhelmed me when i have been alone. and how love has defined the way i stand, walk and run in the presence of fear. 

so today, as i muddle through the dreary, lonely and fear-filled moments, i will reflect upon love. i will be thankful for my family and friends who are always willing to listen and sometimes cry with me, and those who are family to me when my own family is thousands of kilometers away. i will be aware of how their love (and yours) sustains me, shapes me, defines my life and how i am able to love others. and i will hold onto love as a shield as i push past fear toward life.

my parents in new york, may 2010