[personal] dark days

one of my favourite television series of all time is gilmore girls. witty writing, dysfunctional relationships masking, pop culture, and an over emphasis on emily post... what could be better!! the more i watch it [and i watch it alot... dare i admit that i watch the series at least twice a year?] the more i feel like i know characters personally [is that sad?]. anyway, there is one episode that focuses on luke's "dark day," aka the anniversary of this father's death. it's the one day a year he allows himself to be miserable; he closes himself off from others and they stay far out of his way. what a concept!

this past monday [aka moanday] i experienced my own dark day. i woke up and immediately knew that it was going to be bad. i met my friend ang for lunch [i am sure i was not very pleasant to be with, sorry ang!] and then came home not even bothering to be productive. all i wanted to do was watch a movie, cozy up in my chair and just shut the world out. it was the best thing i could do for myself [and for those around me :) ].

giving myself permission to have these days.. to be miserable/unhopeful/grumpy/unpleasent to be around is freeing [it's hard being happy when you feel like an oscar the grouch inside!]. it also makes me press in to God and to lean on him. i have no desire to remain in this place and to be closed off from others... and i find God is the best one to help me out of the pit, and my faith is strengthened 'cause he always seems to reach down in these times and pull me out!. and this past monday was no exception. when i took ruthie out for her last walk of the day i surrendered the dark day and all that it had encompassed to God. okay, enough is enough. i can't do anything about the worries on my mind except trust you to be with me and work all things out for good. i've had my miserable day and now i need to get back on track! when i woke up on tuesday, it was a new day... and it was light filled!

when was the last day you allowed yourself a dark day? when did you last give yourself permission to be grumpy while the storm clouds hover above your head for awhile? and how did you move on toward light filled days again?

love & sunshine,
shannon-may

ps: here is a little something from what i am working on this week!